Too Many!

Lately, too many things happened that made me sad 😔
Sometimes somethings are meant to happen, & it happens for a reason, it might out of our control.
I am too tired😴 & my little 🙈 monkey heart 💚 might not be able to take it.

A's boy boy passed away at such a young age, 5, only 5. However, he is in a better place called Heaven with a guardian angel 😇 & we will see him again. Devastated, devastating for their family & friends. Even though, I met the boy less than 5 times but it's so heart aching when I visited him in the hospital & attending his funeral. I wanted to visit A & his boy on last week, the visit was delayed due to my own events. Last Friday,  I planned to visit A & boy during lunch or after work & after I settled my mom. But on that day, I feel so uneasy & I was lucky that my friend, A.W. sms me to ask me out for lunch. I asked A.W. to go visit A & boy, she agreed. We took cab & I bought some fruits for them to boost their sugar level. Otw there, my friend B sms saying that A's boy's ECG showed asystole! I was in shock! We rushed there, while standing outside the room, my tears were on standby as I hold them back. When I saw his rhythm & I don't know what to do. When I saw A & her family, I was sad. I found a chance to step ahead to hug A, wanted to give her some comfort but I couldn't hold my tears 😭 back & I cried so much cos I know how much they loved him. Attending A's boy funeral on the sat, on my working sat, I couldn't concentrate on my work, wished to be with A's side no matter how little help I can render but my presence can support her.

I remembered myself being alone in the hospital, staying beside my dad's bedside watching him leave me, from morning,  afternoon, midnight then next morning alone was so painful. Being daughter, it might not be the best option for him cos all his life, he is worried for his son. I wished my dad won't be alone suffering, waiting for his turn to leave this world. I thought I am strong, I am prepared for his departure but I was wrong. I couldn't talk over the phone, choked on my tears 😭.

I am not afraid to be alone when I eat, shop but I don't like the feeling of sleeping alone cos feel so sad 😔 like nobody love me.

Today Boss called for an urgent meeting, didn't have a good about it. Yes, it's not something good that he wants to announce. He is troubled by his personal family life. His marriage is on the rock, divorce is something that might happen. 3rd party is involved. His mom is also making his life difficult & he need psychological counselling. He is so successful in his career but family is neglected. He missed alot of precious moments of family life.
It's not for us to judge someone because this happens cos every family has their own problems. He is someone I respect when comes to work, he delicate 100% to those under his care. I wished things will be fine for him. Emotional stress is never easy to deal with.
I am 75%  lucky in my marriage. My husband loves me whole heartedly... at least that's how I feel. His tolerance towards me, my character & showering me all the things that he can get for me. With my special family situation, he is able to support me as much as he can so that I will be less stress. Thank you for being there for me. I love you.