Too Many!

Lately, too many things happened that made me sad 😔
Sometimes somethings are meant to happen, & it happens for a reason, it might out of our control.
I am too tired😴 & my little 🙈 monkey heart 💚 might not be able to take it.

A's boy boy passed away at such a young age, 5, only 5. However, he is in a better place called Heaven with a guardian angel 😇 & we will see him again. Devastated, devastating for their family & friends. Even though, I met the boy less than 5 times but it's so heart aching when I visited him in the hospital & attending his funeral. I wanted to visit A & his boy on last week, the visit was delayed due to my own events. Last Friday,  I planned to visit A & boy during lunch or after work & after I settled my mom. But on that day, I feel so uneasy & I was lucky that my friend, A.W. sms me to ask me out for lunch. I asked A.W. to go visit A & boy, she agreed. We took cab & I bought some fruits for them to boost their sugar level. Otw there, my friend B sms saying that A's boy's ECG showed asystole! I was in shock! We rushed there, while standing outside the room, my tears were on standby as I hold them back. When I saw his rhythm & I don't know what to do. When I saw A & her family, I was sad. I found a chance to step ahead to hug A, wanted to give her some comfort but I couldn't hold my tears 😭 back & I cried so much cos I know how much they loved him. Attending A's boy funeral on the sat, on my working sat, I couldn't concentrate on my work, wished to be with A's side no matter how little help I can render but my presence can support her.

I remembered myself being alone in the hospital, staying beside my dad's bedside watching him leave me, from morning,  afternoon, midnight then next morning alone was so painful. Being daughter, it might not be the best option for him cos all his life, he is worried for his son. I wished my dad won't be alone suffering, waiting for his turn to leave this world. I thought I am strong, I am prepared for his departure but I was wrong. I couldn't talk over the phone, choked on my tears 😭.

I am not afraid to be alone when I eat, shop but I don't like the feeling of sleeping alone cos feel so sad 😔 like nobody love me.

Today Boss called for an urgent meeting, didn't have a good about it. Yes, it's not something good that he wants to announce. He is troubled by his personal family life. His marriage is on the rock, divorce is something that might happen. 3rd party is involved. His mom is also making his life difficult & he need psychological counselling. He is so successful in his career but family is neglected. He missed alot of precious moments of family life.
It's not for us to judge someone because this happens cos every family has their own problems. He is someone I respect when comes to work, he delicate 100% to those under his care. I wished things will be fine for him. Emotional stress is never easy to deal with.
I am 75%  lucky in my marriage. My husband loves me whole heartedly... at least that's how I feel. His tolerance towards me, my character & showering me all the things that he can get for me. With my special family situation, he is able to support me as much as he can so that I will be less stress. Thank you for being there for me. I love you.

See u again!

Anne's 2nd son, Blythe is a special boy whose heart structures is different from us. He is cheerful, smiley & loves foods. 

I was planning to visit Anne after work or tomorrow. However, I felt uneasy for not going to see Anne and her boy. 

Every mom's wish

Every mom's wish...
I guess almost 100% ... their wish is their kid is healthy & free of any illness.

I remembered that Anne's 2nd son needs some cardiac surgery due to comgenital condition some time this year but I didn't follow up. Plus recently, I am too pre-occupied with my mom's admission & discharge care.

I am sad to hear the bad news after surgery, he needs ECMO. Such a young boy & he need to go through so much.

Dear all Gods, please help Anne's 2nd son. Please PRAY for him. Please be healthy. A miracle is wished upon to help Blythe to get well.

Monkey Friend :)

I have a monkey friend...
Her name is Bel...
One of my few friend...
FAQs...

Me: Why u be my friend?

Bel: Cos i chose to b yr fren.Esp aft i saw u at PS alone. And aft i attend yr ROM. I wanted 2b yr fren. U were there 4me quietly also 10yrs ago when i was down. Giving me support.

Me: Thankfully u came even if u r so busy with work, with ur own emotions, with ur own happiness & sadness.

Bel: Jus felt tt i needed to see u & yr mum la. No need to thank. Actually when i saw yr mum jus nw was a lil emo. i will be sad also if anything happen to her. But glad tt she is her usual self. Im not close to my mum. I cant really talk to my mum either. Envious tt ur close to yr mum though she drives u crazy also. If mon, need me to pick u & her home jus let mi kn k.

I am putting this whatsapp sms in my blog to remind myself...
I am a fortunate monkey who has a monkey friend who cares for me genuinely & didn't judge me based on my background or character.
U warmth my little monkey heart.
We had Burger King as late dinner. Share with me the good news- u r promoted to NC 1! Happy for u. U sent me home with ur too fast too furious driving skills, I e-brake with my legs, scare the hell of me.
I call this type of friendship... FATE... hahhaa...
Thank u!
I wish... U will happy & healthy. U & LC have a new beginning.

One after another!

11.8.15
MC D1
Today I took MC for MR & MRS Flu officially invaded my body & I needed a rest.
Dr Lim given my "candies" to lure MR & MRS Flu... I took 5 tablets & "when I am gone, when I am gone to drowsy land"! I dreamt alot of weird things. I cannot remember them.

Mom...
She asked me where is Dad? OMG!!! I was like shocked! Then I told her, dad already passed away last year, now only left his urn at home.
Then she started to cry?!
Then, she like suddenly remember dad passed away last year & we pray not long ago.
Poor Mom, hope she gets well soon.
She seems to have more strength today, able to get up with minimum help.
Asked Dr Lim today & he say it's okay that mom has no strength due disease process.
Okay, let's wait & see what happens. Please la!!! Get well soon k.

Brother...
Bring mom down to open the letter box to find 2 letters for brother & 1 for me. At least, good to see mom walking slowly down.
One after another...
Brother received a letter from TP; warrant of arrest... WA PHIANGZ... some more things for me to headache ah! As usual, I scolded him for causing trouble while mom is still sick! Ask him how come he never follow up after the last appeal. He told me, they told him to wait for news. I told him, WTH, u at least must follow up if it's approved. Now, trouble come knocking on the door then he still doesn't look so panic! Damn it! Whatever it is, I asked him to go to the nearest police station to ask since TP already closed by the time he came back & open the letter. He leftho,e since 8pm & till now still no news & didn't come back plus never bring his phone. How to contact him?! Also don't know what happem!? Is it gana caught & locked up?! At least, the police will call me to bail him out bah hor? I also don't know. Let's wait & see. If not, I will go police station to ask.

The END SG50 PH😯

10.8.15
PH D4
This is last SG50 PH...
Well, i have to conclude... I missed the chance to enjoy much😯
It's a pity!
My ultimate wish now is my MOM will get well soon.
Tml I am applying urgent leave cos mom is still not well. Worried that she is alone, unsteady gait due to weakness & lethargic.
LC is back today, but I can't meet him to get a hug, throw tantrum or disturb him.

SG 50

9.8.2015
PH D3
Happy National Day, Singapore! This is HOME TRULY! SG 50 Jubilee celebration.
Thank you, Mr LKY for everything U did for Singapore. Feels sad that this year, I could not see U on the TV as usual. Nevertheless, I had a chance to pay u last respect when u go to a better place.
I am PROUD to be a SINGAPOREAN! MAJULAH SINGAPURA!

There are many freebies this year...
Free Data from Singtel hence, I can watch my favourite Korean drama, "You are surrounded", last episode to complete before the free data is gone.
Free travel... due to Mr Flu stayed in me, I can't go enjoy free rides. Only managed to take bus ride to BKP to grab some items to de-stress myself. Managed to grab some food that I am craving... Magnam ice cream, MT. Craving for chewy junior strawberry & blueberry puff but it's not within reach. Shiok, free bus ride, at least I took 1 free ride.

When I came back from wet market. Saw mom in toilet & shit all over in the toilet!!! Clear everything. Luckily she never fall.
Bring mom to see Dr Lim again today cos mom didn't seem to get better since the last Dr visit on last Wed. I am not sure if I should sent her to hospital. Asked brother to help, scolded him for leaving mom for me handle alone, shut his door & be with his computer & hp. Well, he did help to push mom via wheelchair to see Dr Lim. As I always said, pig 🐷 brother never change his spots. Haiz...
Dr Lim say, mom lost some weight, due to dehydration & giddiness secondary to diarrhea. Given her a jab & some medicine to make her better.
Lost sleep this few days due to mom, woke up ever 1-2hrs. In turn, giving Mr Flu & sickness stayed in me. Haizz...
Making me to think that if I ever have a kid, I don't know if I can cope. But well said by someone, if u forever say not ready, not having a kid for real, u won't know if u r ready. No need to force, I believe everything is predestined. PS:LC, Don't mind my thinking. It's just a random thought & comment.

Dear 老天爷, 拜托啦不要再为难我了。够了。谢谢。

Happy holidays not so happy 😐

8.8.15
PH D2
Knock... Knock... I am Mr Sick... I need to stay in for awhile!
Damn...
Probably, I am too greedy to ask Pigsy to buy chips for me... ate some & Mr Sick came to me.
Can't sleep well also cos need to attend to mom.
My mom also sick.
Headache... wonder what should I do?!
Can only depend myself.
Probably bring mom see Dr Lim again tml. Whether need to bring her to DEM.

Due to unforeseen situation, I can't go Pigsy's hse to learn how to make dumplings.

LC ask me to create a blog for him so that I can understand him but I realize am I able to take it?! Hahaha...

Happy holiday

7.8.15

It's a PH...D1
So cool... no need to work.
Been so stressed this few week with myself, my mom, NCSC & HFS.
- feel sick. Didn't have enuf rest because my mom also sick.
- Uncle 3 say my mom tell other 3 姑 6 婆 that I didn't bring her to see Dr. I... whatever...
- Uncle 3 say those 3 姑 6 婆 say I "Dao"... NV greet them... I ... whatever... u so like my greet... I greet u all next time la!
😞 Y target me? I look like tofu is it... very soft, nice to bully ah!? Or cos I am a damn daughter?! I ... whatever la! U think/ say whatever u like la! Even so, if ever one day I get a chance to have a kiddo, I hope it's a daughter ...okay! What's wrong being daughter?! Check out my mom's son! Ahhhh...... eat too full, out of topic to comment ah!
- Competency checklist booklet to complete with dateline.
- Case study: supposed to hand up in mid Aug but surprise attack by Roti Prata Fong... to hand up on 6.8.15.
😤 Surprise meeting to tell us our posting!? What's the point u r not prepared with all the possible FAQs answers? Making everyone like... sianz... I am of course, no surprise... go back to HFS to work.
NCSC coming to an end soon on 31.8.15, a brand new stage again. Wish me luck.
Sometimes, I ponder if I made the right choice to leave inpatient & join outpatient. Lesser friendship. Out of comfort zone. Longer working hours. Early out & late home. Lesser time to buy yummiest food. More politics; need shields to protect myself. More reality to handle. Lesser team work. Gaining weight cos too much sitting. Enjoys PHs. Learning new things. Unable to fit in the old & new.

Something happy 😊 apart from all this not so nice challenges in IT life.
😍 Advanced BD present 🎁 from beloved busy husband.
1) Stayreal TOPS ... all my request is fulfill
2) A familiar NICI friend from HK... Name: Jubilee to represent SG 50.
3) Totoro pouch
All my favourite items. But abit sad 😔 cos husband spent so much money on me & he only got Jenny cookies for himself.

😐 I wish I could have 30mins quality with husband when we meet. He is always with his "mistress Iphone". Already difficult to meet & have time together due work, studies, my mom etc... If u might missed opportunity to communicate with me ... when I am gone. At least 15mins to tuck me to bed or hug me like before. Things will never be the same at different stages of life due to the experience we encounter... that what I conclude.

I wish... less troubles, less stress, more love, more happiness, less sadness, less masking, more food, less fatness, able go do things I like, better organizing skills, better luck..... etc...can't end here. 😂 lol...

I like this poem... "Someone coming into your life is a big thing because his whole life comes with him."

Monkey never change his cheeky 😝 spots.

1st August 2015

Happy Nurse's Day!!!

Yes, 1st August 2015 is Nurse's day!!!

In July 1998, I started my studies in NYP for Diploma in Nursing & completed my course in June 2001...

Signed bond with current employer in 2000. Completed my 1 year bond.

To date, I am a nurse for 17 years. Worked for current employer for 13 years. Studied for 3 years for Diploma & 1 year for Advanced Diploma.

I wonder how long more I can be a nurse.