Me: wawawa...someone reporting to wifey... to make her super VIP
In between we send some stickers to each other
Me: (only realize)... 2weeks ah!
LC: Yup
Me: shiok ah! 2 weeks away from wifey. ..no wonder so fast report la!
LC: Siao bo
Me: (LOL monkey sticker sent) ...report early gana report late also gana
so funny
EMO me: tml going to work again! sometimes I wonder if I like my job anot or simply work for $. Can't go back to the past already. It will never be the same again. hence, when u make a decision...nv regret. That's easy than said. feel so lonely on this current route I am walking alone. feels sp unwanted on this route. feels so uneasy on this route. feels so wrong on this route.
LC: Resign after bond finish
EMO me continues: feelslike when I am young... I missed my school bus home & I have to think of alternative ways to get home. otw home, wished the uncle who gave me the ride isn't a bad man. wished my dad will be waiting for me at the usual pick up place. wished I could get home fast after a tired & frighten day. resign after bond finish will be 3years later? when I am 37years old?
LC: Just nice. Work part time
Me: Will I be able to achieve what I need?
LC: Wat u need? Can I provide?
Me: There is so many unknown questions. seeking for unknown answers. Will it be good or I am just lost again. Maybe I need a GPS...a global one.
Some nice monkey stickers pop up again...I like the one where the big monkey holds an yellow umbrella to shelter the small gal monkey.
I also don't know what I need. I have worked for more than 13years in nursing but I guess I took the wrong path to move on to another road that I couldn't see what's infront of me & I have tripped, kicking over many tiny & big stones. I wished I could be like Amanda who worked smartly in the real world. I am just waiting all this while for other people to open a conversation or their world. I am too EMO today. I am out of my comfort zone & currently facing difficulties in adapting to the new path. Actually, I have once moved out of my comfort zone during SARS & now again I am doing it again even though I know the jungle is too much for me to overcome & survive. I should have just stayed in the ZOO.
LC: a singing monkey sticker
Me: Who's that singing? It has been a long time since u sing for me.Until I find my possible directions home....I probably be this grumpy monkey for some time. I missed the days I worked CCU & CTSICU. Bedside nursing, I am more confident since I know my work routines, missed the days I can buy good food to share with my friends, work closely with colleGues & Drs. I can't possibly go back ever. I am just a crazy girl ahh... anyway...thank you for listening to my repeated grumpy story. I probably can't handle the real jungle world, should have stayed in the Zoo...allows me to get my regular happy meals & friends. I am talking too much...too much for u to hear...
No comments:
Post a Comment