What do I deserve?!

Excuse me!!! May I ask " what do I deserve?" Can anyone answer me?! Hell or Heaven placement am I entitled?! Already fixed or still assessing by WHO?! Do I have an options or chance to explain myself!? How would my life be like!? How my life is going to end?! Will I have my family to be with me when I'm about/ forced/ chosen to leave this world?! There are so many why & fear when life comes to a near end! Will I still be able to see or talk to them! Tell them that I LÖve them & I'm sorry about what I have done. Can my favourite babymonmon come along wif mr coz I'm afraid to be ALONe when I leave this world for real. What if i leave this world suddenly & who'll know my last wishes?!

I seriously need to think about it & make a list before this day come unexpectedly.

Why am I so touchy!? I regret that someone I dun really know died & he didn't have a chance to say " Gd Bye my wife, I'll U & please take care of urself when I no longer be able to be wif u! Be Brave & move on. Did I not do something that my actually save his life?! Or it's just his & mine destiny?! Dear Uncle, please RIP & may ur family moves on.!

I sent an MSG to Hubby & told him "LOve U." At least I told him, even if I got to leave sudddenly but he still feel my last words! Call my mom in awhile.

Due to this sad lesson learned... I Cried when I heard her say, "Wake Up" & why I wasn't informed! I blame myself for not doing certain things which mayb change d ending! I'm sad! Life is unexpected! Monkey... Be Brave & go do what I want to do while I still has d chance. I'm learning, I need many many many "gall stone"! Anyone want to lend or sell it to me! Speak UP!

For a change

I went for half leg waxing, threading of my eyebrows & upper lip ytd! Quite painful process but d end product makes me feel & look different! I can wear dress & short! A temporary gd bye to Ms hairy monster Tan! Hahaaa..... Today, finally I went for a hair cut & after so long of consideration to hightlight my blacky hair! Spend abt $200 for a mini make over! Do I look better? No one hv any comment yet! I had a nice brunch at sushi teh.....I eat salmon maki, fish floss prawn maki & Shiratama Azuki( green tea ice-cream, red bean & mochi)- all my favourite Even though I'm eating alone but I still feel very happy coz it's all my favourite food! I found a dessert that i eat in HongKong in Vivo I'm going dere one day wif hubby to eat! Wait for mi k

"Woody" tan

Another mornng to prove that good judgement, decision is important & dun regret if possible! I dun like to b d in charge coz I think I'm not capable to get pple to Wk wif me! I'm slow, sometimes bad luck, poor judgement/ decision!? Consequence mayb staff Overworked, job satisfaction, " hottness", moody, grouchy, anger etc!! Inevitable in d real working society. I feel sad, hopeless at times & angry at myself/ d situations. Why people work with laughter, not very stress, dun really care attitude etc but I'm like affected by their emotions, words, actions, verbal & non- verbal cues, expressions, tones & etc!?? Think too much
I'll too..." hack care"

What are my Options...A) Continue to b blur Sotong, rot & earn $$. B) Quit. C) Find another job. D) Strike big big lottery & quit d job den go holiday many many days. E) B Mrs "Lim" Hse-fly. F) go further study & rot in nhc / go other hospital! G) Open a shop.

I have not seriously think what I want so I'll just "Rot" there. I'm hopeful for a better, lovely, enjoyable working day tml!

Enough

So hot at night again! Going to BBQ, ready to serve nx morning! Sleeping day but I simply awake!!! Argrrr No peace at home, we r like same surname/ legally bonded pple living together. I can't feel warmth, , care & concern or mutual understanding between US!? shouting, scolding at her loudest voice prn or when she !!! Why? I'm getting more & more impatient Dad's seeing dr for his usual medical condition... SOB due to Smoking prn! Please la, take care of ur own health, nobody is responsible but urself. When will all this settle down & I feel safer, happier & able to sleep in peace?! So much as usual complain situation. I want to go beach to "SHOUT Out"! Stupid things please go away, leave me ALONE! Eat ice-cream, potato chips, shopping, buying things... Blahh... Blahh...

No more HR, BP, response.....eyes closed, not moving anymore, pple crying & asked u not to go...These r some of d examples of how my clients left! If I'm chosen to go to another way as my time is up, mission accomplished or watever d reason might be... I'm really scared coz I've got to move on to another place alone. How will I passed on?! Will I hv my last WisheS b granted?! I'm just crazy to talk about tis or I'm normal?!

I'm not fated to hv Scotty as my pet?! Theresa says that Scotty is too aggresive for us to handle! Actually, it's quite true! That time when u walk Scotty, I'm scare, out of control & no chemistry. Lucky for Scotty, Ivy & hubby. Wat do u think??? If I'm going to hv a dog of my own, d must criteria is.... 1. Female dog 2. Healthy 3. < 1yr old coz I want to name my dog, take part in her growing process & create bond, take pics 4. I must b ready 5. Must b chosen by me & hv chemistry.

I feel better after I nag, complain in babymonmon blog.