Silly goose VS Scary cat 😻 VS Cry baby VS I am nothing

Am I a scary cat or cry baby? U shall be the judge yourself after u have read my blog.

Round 1 (Silly)

2.8.16- My classmate D approached me via sms to help her by taking over her journal presentation on 18.8.16 as she was scheduled for a course that crashes with the presentation. She tried to ask everyone from the next month till end of the year but they are unable to. Sister Y ask her to check with the staff that are rotated next year to see if they can help.. I said I am not confident if I can find & prepare within a short time frame. Silliest me said yes cos she said there is no one whom she can change with. Why me? I only ask that question when I say OK to her & I have only 16 days to prepare!!!

Round 2 (Scary)

Was trying to prepare after I have chosen a journal as I am not confident or rather not that interested with the journal my classmate D offered me. 16 days to prepare a journal presentation was rather not that enough time for me cos I am a slowbie & sudden. Anyway, have to do it! 16.8.16 Approached R for help to interpret some of the items in the journal that I have chosen. Advised given by APNi R was not to present things I  not confident. 17.8.16 - Saw Sister Y, asked her for mercy on 18.8.16. And then finally, 18.8.16 Thursday came & I got to present whatever I have on hand. Managed to fake through my presentation.

Round 3 (Cry)

Was doing follow up call in the morning before I go clinic but all 3 patients did not answer the call. Then at 11.55am, I received a call from the 3rd patient and after I greeted he hang up the phone. I realized is the 3rd patient that I have called & I quickly call back. It started off well until I ask him how much water he is taking & he say he drink whenever needed. My responsibility button was pushed... Uncle T, u know ur medical conditions & I am sure the nursed & Dr's have emphasize the importance of fluid restrictions. Then he said. .. "sorry to interrupt & he started to comment that the Dr did not show & explain the findings of Angiography & TTE performed on him. And he started to compare the treatment given to him many years ago in US. I don't know which smart aleck change my insulin dosing, now I am regulating my insulin dose & I checked my H/C TDS... blah blah blah... I was like excuse me, I am the Dr who did u medications adjustment, u should have discuss & make request during ur stay. He even asked me, I am not making things difficult for u, am I? Suddenly, 7th month error happen, the line was cut off & as usual I was saying hello...hello... & waited for the other party to respond. Eventually the line was cut off. In less than 30seconds, he called & asked me Y I cut off the line??!!! I told him, I did not though my heart was thinking please end this call ASAP. He said harshly to me- u r like a recording machine, dictating whatever is needed, if u do not have the answers to my questions then Y u waste ur time to call me? Tears is in eyes, waiting to roll down, my voice was choked & I have to apologize for making his day bad. Immediately after I put down the call, I can't control my tears, I cried & walked straight to the toilet & cried! Why do I have to endure such nonsense? I am just doing my job, hoping to five my patients advice via phone to prevent admission. I felt relieved after I cried but at peace cos I felt I did nothing wrong except picking up or even thinking of calling him. Throughout the conversation, he just blah blah blah all his thoughts but did not give me chance to interrupt. Another lesson learned through today's experience. I am lack of organising whatever I want to say, people can't understand my intention even if it's good or bad. Even though crying infront of my colleagues showed my weakness but I can't care that much. Thank you Uncle T for helping me to relief my stress that was bottled up for some time. I am like a soda, if u shake too much, I will spill.

Thank you my little 小情人 C for visiting me & to cheer me up on this gloomy TGIF.

Round 4

I am nothing at all.
In this world, 黑吃黑, 恶势力当道时, 你也只能低头, people will bully the weak to aid them climb higher. I thought I could have friends & colleagues who will help each other but I am begining to doubt if this type of situations do exit? Do u that feel that I am a potential threat to u? Actually nobody will feel that I am a threat to them by analyzing me. I am nothing. All I want is peace, world peace, do whatever I can within my limits. Is this my destiny - very few family or friends support at home & at work? Or simply my retribution? I am sadden by ur actions at times. I should reflect my part 1st & what I am lacking of? El

At work, u really need to learn up everything, all rounder so that nobody can bully u. Why did u bang the table when it's my 1st time? Don't u have 1st time? It's your job scope & my job scope is not to do ur job. Felt so bullied! I will gradually learn up. U may have many chance to bully me but eventually ur chances will decrease.

I am not worthless but I am priceless. If u can't appreciate who I am then be impartial at work, don't vent ur frustrations on me even if I did not do it properly cos I did not go through the same training or routine as u did. Probably we just not fated to work together. Yes, u did successfully affect me with ur actions & I am indeed very upset with u & definitely myself for being so incompetent & need to rely on u.

When ur husband is sick, stressed, full of challenges ahead... what I can do is to be quiet & enjoy my own time.  Sorry, I can't do much for you when u sick but being independent is what I can do for u. Get well soon & smooth work flow.


Round 5 (Sick)

August- I already took 2 days of MC! Last week, I felt sick suddenly & vomited my $5 worth of silly porridge with side dishes. This week I am sick again, coughing.
Sometimes, I wonder if they meant what they say?
Ms P saw me one day, she said to me, u took 2 days of MC this month. I replied yes, I was not well,down with viral. Ms P then asked, Y my colleague is wearing mask, did u spread to the office? I just keep quiet cos who am I to comment Y my colleague wear mask? Being sick is not my intention also! I can't feel ur care & concern instead I feel u r like doubting my character or doubting the Dr who diagnose me? To be honest, I hate to pretend that I can't care much what u have said. Without me in the team, they can still work perfectly also. I hope I just misunderstood ur good intention.

Please don't make me suffer if I need to go & submit my IC forever. I have nothing to worry when I die. My mom still has a son. My husband still has his work & game.

Hope everyone is blessed with good health.

Round 6 (PM)

I have a pig & monkey whom I can disturb still. Haha 😂
Thank you.

Yeah!!! LCW WON again LD. Both players r great sport men but I wanted LCW to win. So HAPPY FOR HIM.

Time to stop, time to rest & get better.

Happy Birthday

Happy 51th Birthday SINGAPORE on 9.8.2016!!!

Celebrating Singapore 51th Birthday at home via watching TV- impressive Olympics games, National Day Parade is a MUST SEE, eat- Fish porridge, fried chicken wings, potato croquettes & SLEEP 😴!!!

Boring!!! Haha 😂
PH is ending...

Wishing Singapore- A prosperity, happiness & love love love Singapore!!!

Project Groom Over 16.7.2016

It's been a long time since I last blog cos I am too busy & lazy!


1/10 part of the requirement of PPA aka Personal Performance Appraisal is Volunteering work! Are you thinking WTH? This year, I took part in Singhealth Project groom over after some ups & downs during the enrolment. First, I was add in member as my monkey friend thought she needed 8 pax per group, however in actual fact, she only need 7 pax so I was rejected. Then she got dropout in her group due to work commitment so I was once again approached by my monkey friend & I say YES!!

Finally, the day came & I wasn't too prepared but luckily I bring my long glove.

When I reached the house that we are going to work on that day .. my monkey 🙈 nose smelled pungent "cat shit or stale blood like mensus or dead cat" when I knocked on the door from outside!! Wild thoughts came to my monkey brain & I told myself I might be wrong, maybe next door LA!  Then I knocked twice before uncle answered us & open the door. I was proven right immediately when uncle open his door. As I walked in the house, my eyes was popping out & wild thoughts came to me again. I saw bed & pillows has blood stains. I am left with no choice & I have to clean up before I leave the house. (Normally, I am not observant at all!) I chose to be the painter, while we move the bed out... I saw so much weird stuffs... is it is it Bed BUGS???!!! Why we so lucky???

In this 1 room flat, there r 2 uncles staying in that house but one uncle is not at home.

Then got a English speaking auntie neighbor came over to complain to us the uncle house got BED BUGS not BEG BUDS!!! Of cos, our capable leader handle the English speaking auntie like a PRO but that auntie even want  us to check the electric cables!??? WTF? She was telling my monkey leader that only one uncle lives in that house, so the uncle who open the door for us is telling us he stays with a imaginary friend? Ghost ah!!!

I was not brave enough to clear the BED BUDS cos I very scare moving bugs! They found many!!! I tried to clean the kitchen in scary mode. The whole pail of water is filled with BED BUGS dead bodies! Horrifying moments but I tell myself just do what I can for the uncle!

The 7 of us spend about 4hours to clean the whole house, not 100% clean but at least 100% better than before we start cleaning. We used bleach to bleach the house, call the organisers to help uncle to call MSW in charge of uncle to get pest control to wipe out the BED BUGS!!

A lot of thoughts running through my tiny monkey 🙈 brain for this experience!
1. I am definately a fortunate unfortunate monkey cos at least I have Chubby hubby, my naughty mom & friends. I am gainfully employed. I enjoy good food & I get to travel.
2. People always thought Singapore has no poor people, they r totally wrong!
3. Will my brother end up like uncle one day? We never know what's our fate like in future..
4. Heard from that English speaking auntie that uncle has a son who visits him once in a blue moon but hack care him. Is this our life predestined? We never know why uncle's life ended up in this way? Is it because he did something terribly wrong that even his son didn't care for him? Is it because uncle wanted his life to be in this way?
5. I never never wanted my life to be like uncle. This volunteer work makes me understand that a lot of things can't be forced! Having a kid doesn't mean my life won't be like uncle, so I have decided that I do not need a kid or a animal to keep me company.  Everyone of us will die on day, I can't leave my burdens when I am died.
6. Be thankful for every brand new day & able to see the sun again & again. Be contented for everything we have now, we can't have everything in this world to make us happy. Be kind even to people who wanted you to be miserable cos they are miserable themselves to make us miserable. Be happy 😊, smile; I always say "Happy also one day,  not happy also one day, then why not being happy?!" Be Dory, forget the bad & remember the good!
7. Don't be shy to express your love, say "I love you" with a big hug to cheer your loved ones cos you never know when is the last "I love you" for them.
8. This is the MOST IMPORTANT one- BE HEALTHY!!!

After the event ended, we went back to NHCS to bath cos I found 2 BED BUGS on my monkey friend! I am so afraid to bring them home!

Thoughtful chubby hubby came to pick me up for high tea cos pass lunch time. We has high tea at Great World City at Crystal Jade Xiao Long Bao at 3.30pm. Can you imagine, a hungry man is a angry man! Indeed, Dory stepped on his tail & he was almost 💣explosion happened. I feel wronged 😧 High tea was good, I am full & recharged. Then we went to get birthday gift for baby Chloe. Attending baby Chloe's BD celebration. So envy our friend who have great families & friends. I know my in-laws & chubby doesn't favors kid so finally I came to some sense & thoughts that I do not need to have a kid cos I won't be able to have such family support like others. Probably, my predestined fate is little family & friends support. Without a kid might be a better choice. Chubby hubby was right from the start, I am really a no plan, no brain Dory fish!

I am done with my random nonsensical blog thoughts!

Be happy, be thankful, be healthy, be kind & smile cos nothing is better than being Dory!

Random thoughts

Whenever I see an ambulance 🚑 & paramedics attempting to save a life! I always feel emotional, random thoughts will flow in, tears at the customs & heart aching! I will be thinking life is really fragile, u & I can die any time, anywhere & any how!! Sometimes, we r "difficult to please humans" in the reality world. We tend to hate, think or plot how to get back at the person who bully us, talk back/ bad at that person etc. I must agree that during certain situations, we must stand up for ourselves, be assertive for ourselves/others, it doesn't mean we have to give in in all situations.

😊Calm down, deep breathing 3 times, clear ur mind then...if possible
😇Forgive & Forget
😇Give up HATE
😙Think of someone whom u loved the most & say "I love u ______(the person's name) & not forgetting to be thankfully that he/she is healthy & alive.
😋 Think of someone who is silly & have a good laugh & not forgetting to thank him/her for occupying ur memory space.
😄少一些恨, 多一点爱和宽容, 你就是很幸福的人。

Question: "If that person never attempt to bully me or bully me, will I have evil thought or actions?"

Answer: You will not because most of the humans r kind in nature, it's the environment, experience & background that change them too.

Be kind if possible. When impossible, do what u need to do but remember don't regret. They r also someone else children.

Question: If I never punish him/her in my way then who will?

Answer: Someone will, the mighty will, u probably won't witness how he/she is being punished but does not mean no justice to u. Do u want others witness how u r being punished when u did something wrong? I wouldn't want.

I believe in Karma...

Karma will give u chance to change but Karma won't tolerate people who doesn't change for good.

Question: Then when will Karma punish the evils?

Answer: KPO ah?! Karma also busy one, he/she need to prioritize the seriousness of the case. Karma will definitely come, it's a matter of time. Don't doubt Karma's abilities or power!

Question: What will I get even if i do good, do forgive & forget whenever possible & be kind?

Answer: Wawawa... still want to negotiate ah? Good will return, accumulate good points & u may use during emergency.

Enough of this random "Lor soh" thoughts... I am going to work!

ACP

Have anyone heard about ACP? ACP means advanced care planning, which mean to plan in advance of your wishes before u r incapable of making sounded decisions. Most people are reluctant or does not see the need to discuss about this topic. However, ACP is really important to ease your next of kin burden of being responsible to what they have decided on ur behalf when u do not have the ability to make the decision. 

My wishes if I lost my capabilities to make sound decisions if I am critically or terminally ill. 

1. I do not want active management if my prognosis is bad.
2. Donate whatever organs that is suitable person under the HOTA law. ( I am definitely scare of pain but when I left this world, it means my soul have left & what is left behind is only a body. Do do worry, I do not feel pain anymore after I left this world for good) 

3. I do not need a grand last goodbye. There are many reasons, these includes: I do not have many friends (NICI friends not included). The last goodbye ceremony is too expensive. I just need some simple time with dear all before I have to go to a different world. 

To be continue because of I am sleepy.

I am little Durian aka 小榴莲

Amanda played a interesting game with me on Friday while we have our dinner at "Chir Chir" at Chinatown point after our coincident meet up at the gym.

Her question was " think of a fruit that best describe u!"

My answer was "durian".

Durian is regarded by many people in Southeast Asia as the "king of fruits", the durian is distinctive for its large size, strong odour, and formidable thorn-covered husk.

What do u think?

Hi mouth 👄 & eyes 👀

人言可畏 means "the tongue is not steel, yet it cuts".
病从口入, 禍从口出 means "illness enters by the mouth, trouble comes out by the mouth (idiom). A loose tongue may cause a lot of trouble". See how powerful our mouth can be, u can live happily ever after if u use it correctly. But, u can also die instantly or slowly or gradually or miserably if u use wrongly.
眼见为实 means "Seeing is believing". Well, correction to this statement at Monkey 🙈 view- seeing doesn't mean u need to believe it because the truth can be hidden. People may suffer in silence if u believe "seeing is believing". People who acts well can convince people who has short or long- sighted. Hence, in a relationship, I believe mutual trust and speaking the truth is very important.

珍惜眼前人 means "Cherish the present one". That's right, when u lost them permanently, u can't do anything for them til we meet again in the world.

对别人仁慈就是对自己残忍 means "To others of their own kind is cruel".  Most of the time, my angel 😇 🙈 tell me to be kind to others but at times my 😈 🙈 tell me to other of their own kind is cruel then I will be evil towards the person who is bad also.

I am a person who doesn't have any talent or capabilities living in my own world most of the time. I only worry about my mom & brother because they are my only family members. My husband- no need to worry because he don't want to trouble me with his troubles most of the time & he is a capable person. I don't have much friends who confides in me with their problems. Work- sometimes gives me headache cos I know my limits but I believe I shall take 1 step at a time then I can overcome the hurdle.

Dearest 幸福, don't forget about me.