18 May 2015

Today is my Dad's 1st death anniversary. One year ago... I was accompanied him through his last journey before he ended his suffering & left us to a better place. Good & bad memories we had together is always on mind. Being a 1st child in Tan's family BUT too bad, I was borne as a daughter instead of son. I was told, it was my 2nd auntie who bought new baby clothes to fetch me home,  my dad is probably too busy. As I grow up, we have so many good & bad times. We get extra pocket money when mu dad work or when he won $. The poorest time is when we had to eat the cheapest instant noodles for sometime. My mom is sick after her miscarriage. My aunties says it was my dad who made her get worse. I don't know. But he still cares for mom. I remembered we bought Macdonald to visit mom at the rehab Centre. Life is tough. I do not want to let anyone know about my situation, I become different!? When I grow older & start dating, dad wasn't "supportive". Well, which father is "supportive"? At least they communicate with each other but for me. We do have some arguments. In yr 2006, I did my ROM. I never thought this day would ever happen due to my "special" family situation.  Dad gradually aged, medications, hospitalized & my responsibilities increased. I was pressurize, emotional, tired, financial drained & sad. Thankfully, my LC is supportive towards me most of the time. Thank you. Frequent visits to Dr Lim, hospital, hospitalization & eventually everything came to an end. Dad n myself  never say "I love you" towards each other but we do care for each other even though I am only a daughter not a son..  I always felt not treated fairly cos I am a daughter.  But dad used to picked durian when he was younger, keep all my favourite bittersweet durian for me, reserved crab claw for me, keep all nice food for me, worried if I will come home anot etc... THANK YOU FOR BEING MY DAD IN MY THIS ONLY LIFE. YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY HEART... THE GOOD & BAD TIMES.

爸。。。I LOVE YOU.

爸。。。THANK YOU.

爸。。。SORRY.

Modifying myself

Thank you LC for allowing me to cut my hair short. I am so happy. Meet Wati to go for haircut at Reds Orchard but she is late due to unforeseen situation. Pretty hairdresser Celia asked me what is the length I want to cut? I already thought of it... my answer is shoulder length and I want to do treatment also. Why Celia? Why Reds Orchard cos my buddies trip friend- Jessie aka Ms Pro always go to her for haircut. Actually I went there once before long ago. Me & wati...like most typical Singaporean want to ask for discount but our mouth simply can't do it! The counter have to do closing early, before we complete our hair therapy, the cashier came to bill us... The good news is before we can say anything...Celia already asked the cashier to give us 15% discount. Nice... yes!!! I spent $148 for my hair but I am still quite ok with it because I seldom cut my hair... next thought is to color or highlight my hair. Seek for approval... dear Mr LC!

A Blessed Wedding

Attended my Advanced Diploma friend- Evelyn & Kenny's wedding. A sweet emo emotion rose up. My tears are like pending to roll down anytime while the music & flower girls walking in to the Church. As Evelyn's father held her hand & she looked so radiant, blessed & happy as she walked in and towards Kenny. Evelyn was emotional, choked with her tears on & off while she is delivering her speech. I remembered she said this getting married is not in her plan as she loves to be free & happy. I feel so happy for them & touched.