IVY😟

My name is IVY.
My character is like my name:
😟I-mai*I-mai- can't make real decisions even simple things like what to eat for lunch or dinner, can't make up my mind, do things slow slow etc, 😟idealistic- always dreaming to be a greater, better person
😟Idolize- people who are smart, pretty & talented people. Usually, I am also jealous them cos my brain contains nothing, I describe my brain as coconut brain, only water, no meat. Hahaha... it makes me feel worthless sometimes. It makes me feel shame shame of myself cos I speak like a brainless idiot. Most of the time I regretted what I have said very fast but it's too late to apologize. Husband- so sorry, I am not ur ideal wifey. Nvm la hor... can't escape from me le!
😛I-irritating- I am like a irritating specimen that can drive u to the wall, vomit blood... I know U don't like me touchy touchy touch u but I can't help it, when I see u, I automatically wants to hold u, grab ur arms, hand etc... I am try to be mindful that U don't like it. (How do I know? *from ur non-verbal cues la! Well, enjoy this irritating wifey while she grabs ur arms before I have return to another world) hahaha.....

V-very fortunate to have my husband who is my most reliable pillar. U are like my "instant" estacy make me happier. I feel like telling u all my unhappiness, happiness, silly & everything cos I know I "instantly" become Cinderella, like a princess 👸 & I am treated like a princess though sometimes u forget my presence. I am so grateful today especially when u know my mom is not well & u came to my rescue on your busy schedule.

Y- I LOVE TO ASK Y? And it's silly Y? For example...Y am I not like others who are steady in their work, Y my brain contains nothing, Y I am less fortunate than some others, Y I am not pretty, Y I am born in the family, Y I am so indecisive, Y I am so lazy, Y I am like others, Y people bully me, Y politics, Y force me, Y can't leave me alone, Y must do research, Y u making me feel so small, Y I can't do or have certain things, Y I can't be like her, Y I don't understand,  Y I don't know my husband well, Y I have little friends, Y people don't like me, Y they need to stab me, Y can't I do whatever I like, Y must u compare, Y must I be a PROFESSIONAL SSN, Y must u do this to me, Y I can't do it correctly like others, WHY??? Am I so stress?

Just to scream out loud with my inner frustrations!