Today is Day 2 of Advanced Counselling Course. My ability to understand the course contents was average while others could quickly grasp the essence of the topics. Was abit sad. But I was able to be connected with MSW Genevieve's examples. She said, a client said "I am no good!" That's is my thoughts...I am not good enough! She asked her client, "to whom u feel u r not good enough?" Another example that she give was her mom has Cancer & she was depressed most of the time due to her illness. Her mom went to see a Psychologist & the psychologist asked her..."u were mostly depressed, so there were time that u were not depressed and when?" Genevieve felt that as a counselor, she could not help her mom who has depression, she was sad. I asked a silly 🙋 question....."I am a shy, reserved & quiet person, how do I built a therapeutic relationship with clients who need help? I can't engaged in conversation freely like Joan. My classmate Joan said..." I remembered Ivy was the only one who give everyone a sticker on our group photo, this small simple action make them feel I am genuine & warmth. Then MSW Genevieve say I can be a non-verbal counselor who demostrate my genuine, warmth & silence to be a effective counselor. Maybe...
After class, Genevieve spend a little bit more time with me. As I was telling her my thoughts, emotions flow in & I eventually CRY cos I was feeling guilty towards my dad I did not do my best for him. The only comforting thing I did for him was to be with him during his last bit of journey...I held his hand, hoping he won't be alone during his last moments. I remembered that I was all alone in the hospital thoughout the night, waiting for his suffering to end. And I have no more chance to say this to him anymore..." 爸爸对不起,请您原谅我 和我爱你!" He cannot hear me.
Genevieve comforted & counsel me. Tears cannot stop flowing.
Probably I felt lonely, bottled up my feelings & stressed that I could not hold my emotions anymore.
Thank u Genevieve for being there for me even though I am not your friend. I really feel better after I talked to u & cried😭
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Monday, November 17, 2014
It's holiday!
26/10-30/10/14 HK cum Macau trip
My husband has been trying his best to grant my small & big request to make me feel happy. Yes, of course I am happy cos he changed the flight a few times til SQ made him pay "fine" for making so many changes.
26/10: Managed to bring my mom to attend my cousin's wedding at Jurong Chinese restaurant. Of course, my mom was super happy. She even request to wear her treasured gold chain to the wedding. After the wedding ends, he came to pick us up. My mom is the happiest cos she love to take car ride. Our flight is at 8pm. When Husband took the taxi uncle to stop at Business class... I wonder why? He told me that it is because he is SIA member. Time to board the plane. Feel so shiok that we can like cut queue & enter the Business class tunnel even though I feel pai seh! The seat was spacious so spacious & I have a super Big space. The overall experience was awesome! Thank u husband for pampering me. The meal is also different! We had scallops & the whole meal was nice! Husband observed & told me I was not restlesss. I am like a good kid. Upon reaching to HK, we took cab to hotel via F1 HK taxi! I was so quiet throughout the taxi ride, holding so tight the handle & seat beat was on! Phew! We reached hotel safely & we went to a PUB to watch MANU match via 2nd F1HK taxi even more fierce driver who thought he is singer! Yes, I did the same thing throughout the journey & we did arrived safely. After the match, we took another F1 HK taxi back to check in.
27/10: We took cab to the website recommended Dim Sum to have breakfast before we embark on a shopping journey. The taste of the food was ok la! We went to a specific mall to look for snoppy, I wanted to get something from snoppy stall for Aileen BUT to my horror...Snoppy MUST SEE is like a desserted place, nothing much to appreciate actually. I didn't do my research properly but still I enjoy myself. Set off to another mall to look for the rumoured best Macaroons from this specific mall. Finally bought one box of 7 to satify my craving & curiousity. Husband was disturbed by so many emails & work stuffs! Me too! Finally, we sat down at MacDonald for a nugget lunch meal while husband doing the work stuffs. I am grumbling la! :/ Yes, we went to one my favourite mall to shop. Got what I need in HK even though we have limited time. Adidas shoe...like at " orange first sight". Stay real top....one for me, one for husband...some favourite snacks etc. Watched a Chinese
variety show...in China...If u spport against domestic violence.....on 25/11/14... please wear a Orange top.
I am sleepy! To be continue
My husband has been trying his best to grant my small & big request to make me feel happy. Yes, of course I am happy cos he changed the flight a few times til SQ made him pay "fine" for making so many changes.
26/10: Managed to bring my mom to attend my cousin's wedding at Jurong Chinese restaurant. Of course, my mom was super happy. She even request to wear her treasured gold chain to the wedding. After the wedding ends, he came to pick us up. My mom is the happiest cos she love to take car ride. Our flight is at 8pm. When Husband took the taxi uncle to stop at Business class... I wonder why? He told me that it is because he is SIA member. Time to board the plane. Feel so shiok that we can like cut queue & enter the Business class tunnel even though I feel pai seh! The seat was spacious so spacious & I have a super Big space. The overall experience was awesome! Thank u husband for pampering me. The meal is also different! We had scallops & the whole meal was nice! Husband observed & told me I was not restlesss. I am like a good kid. Upon reaching to HK, we took cab to hotel via F1 HK taxi! I was so quiet throughout the taxi ride, holding so tight the handle & seat beat was on! Phew! We reached hotel safely & we went to a PUB to watch MANU match via 2nd F1HK taxi even more fierce driver who thought he is singer! Yes, I did the same thing throughout the journey & we did arrived safely. After the match, we took another F1 HK taxi back to check in.
27/10: We took cab to the website recommended Dim Sum to have breakfast before we embark on a shopping journey. The taste of the food was ok la! We went to a specific mall to look for snoppy, I wanted to get something from snoppy stall for Aileen BUT to my horror...Snoppy MUST SEE is like a desserted place, nothing much to appreciate actually. I didn't do my research properly but still I enjoy myself. Set off to another mall to look for the rumoured best Macaroons from this specific mall. Finally bought one box of 7 to satify my craving & curiousity. Husband was disturbed by so many emails & work stuffs! Me too! Finally, we sat down at MacDonald for a nugget lunch meal while husband doing the work stuffs. I am grumbling la! :/ Yes, we went to one my favourite mall to shop. Got what I need in HK even though we have limited time. Adidas shoe...like at " orange first sight". Stay real top....one for me, one for husband...some favourite snacks etc. Watched a Chinese
variety show...in China...If u spport against domestic violence.....on 25/11/14... please wear a Orange top.
I am sleepy! To be continue
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Random conversation
LC: Reporting to wifey. Husband should be going osaka 4th to 17th Jan
Me: wawawa...someone reporting to wifey... to make her super VIP
In between we send some stickers to each other
Me: (only realize)... 2weeks ah!
LC: Yup
Me: shiok ah! 2 weeks away from wifey. ..no wonder so fast report la!
LC: Siao bo
Me: (LOL monkey sticker sent) ...report early gana report late also gana
so funny
EMO me: tml going to work again! sometimes I wonder if I like my job anot or simply work for $. Can't go back to the past already. It will never be the same again. hence, when u make a decision...nv regret. That's easy than said. feel so lonely on this current route I am walking alone. feels sp unwanted on this route. feels so uneasy on this route. feels so wrong on this route.
LC: Resign after bond finish
EMO me continues: feelslike when I am young... I missed my school bus home & I have to think of alternative ways to get home. otw home, wished the uncle who gave me the ride isn't a bad man. wished my dad will be waiting for me at the usual pick up place. wished I could get home fast after a tired & frighten day. resign after bond finish will be 3years later? when I am 37years old?
LC: Just nice. Work part time
Me: Will I be able to achieve what I need?
LC: Wat u need? Can I provide?
Me: There is so many unknown questions. seeking for unknown answers. Will it be good or I am just lost again. Maybe I need a GPS...a global one.
Some nice monkey stickers pop up again...I like the one where the big monkey holds an yellow umbrella to shelter the small gal monkey.
I also don't know what I need. I have worked for more than 13years in nursing but I guess I took the wrong path to move on to another road that I couldn't see what's infront of me & I have tripped, kicking over many tiny & big stones. I wished I could be like Amanda who worked smartly in the real world. I am just waiting all this while for other people to open a conversation or their world. I am too EMO today. I am out of my comfort zone & currently facing difficulties in adapting to the new path. Actually, I have once moved out of my comfort zone during SARS & now again I am doing it again even though I know the jungle is too much for me to overcome & survive. I should have just stayed in the ZOO.
LC: a singing monkey sticker
Me: Who's that singing? It has been a long time since u sing for me.Until I find my possible directions home....I probably be this grumpy monkey for some time. I missed the days I worked CCU & CTSICU. Bedside nursing, I am more confident since I know my work routines, missed the days I can buy good food to share with my friends, work closely with colleGues & Drs. I can't possibly go back ever. I am just a crazy girl ahh... anyway...thank you for listening to my repeated grumpy story. I probably can't handle the real jungle world, should have stayed in the Zoo...allows me to get my regular happy meals & friends. I am talking too much...too much for u to hear...
Saturday, October 11, 2014
I have graduated!
29th September 2014 is my most happy day.
Call me a Degree holder! Finally I made it & graduated from Curtin University Singapore.
I would have to thank all the people who helped me along the way, I would not be able to make it without all your help. Thank U ADN Tay, SNMFoo, NC Jasmine, for writing a beautiful recommendation letter to enable me to get the sponsorship successfully. Thank U NC Bel for reading, checking my assignments despite ur busy schedule, risking of foaming or syncope while reading & correcting it.
For this graduation, I spend $ 135 to rent the necessary items, $25 for photo service & $40 for 2 guests graduation tickets. But I still very happy cos my Husband & Bel could attend my graduation & take photos. The only thing is my mom did not take photo with me. I got the expensive graduation Kangaroo soft toy at $75!!! Had Vietnam lunch set with Bel cos husband need to work.
Next is to spend $ to buy a graduation photo...
The stupid shoe is so big, got to use tissue to makeit more "stable" but in the end more pain.
Call me a Degree holder! Finally I made it & graduated from Curtin University Singapore.
I would have to thank all the people who helped me along the way, I would not be able to make it without all your help. Thank U ADN Tay, SNMFoo, NC Jasmine, for writing a beautiful recommendation letter to enable me to get the sponsorship successfully. Thank U NC Bel for reading, checking my assignments despite ur busy schedule, risking of foaming or syncope while reading & correcting it.
For this graduation, I spend $ 135 to rent the necessary items, $25 for photo service & $40 for 2 guests graduation tickets. But I still very happy cos my Husband & Bel could attend my graduation & take photos. The only thing is my mom did not take photo with me. I got the expensive graduation Kangaroo soft toy at $75!!! Had Vietnam lunch set with Bel cos husband need to work.
Next is to spend $ to buy a graduation photo...
The stupid shoe is so big, got to use tissue to makeit more "stable" but in the end more pain.
I am demanding!
Hello my secret blog fan or rather my admirer.....
Thank you for your support all these year. I hope u enjoy my blog contents. If u have any suggestions or feedback on the content or blog topics, do feel free to email my secretary Ms Babymonmon, she will be more than happy to assist you. Being my only Fans, u have the privilege to get my most updated blog.
Through this blog, I can express my thoughts, feelings, events or things that I cannot share with my few friends available & let u understand me more.
Sometimes, somethings I do not know how to tell or express myself so through this channel, I wish to let u know my concerns.
I am a typical demanding wife but I am not controlling your life. I am not prepared to change LC for now so I wish u can be healthy & happy. Hang on,don't go away...please take 5mins to read on...
One day, I came home to change unitentionally, I saw a cigarette floating in our toilet bowl & of course I wasn't quite happy but at the same time sad. I guess u are so stressed & u wanted to destress by smoking! Do u remember when u started smoking? Do u remember how u feel when u 1st started smoking? Is it a habit? Is it an excuse? Is it an addiction? Is this temporary or r u social smoker? I hope u could share or talk to me. People might say, tell u also u don't know one la! Y waste my breath? Why make my spouse worry about my problems.
Question: What is the difference between a friend, a wife or a enemy? How would u feel if one day before I die, I say this to U...I wish I could know more & share not only ur happiness but ur concerns too. Yup, like the TV drama...I would say.. I am leaving this world without understand my closest love one thoughts, feeling, needs, wants, problem etc... Sharing only your happy events or thoughts & not able to share yr concerns.....in my personal opinion...To u, I am just ur best friend, not wife. A relationship builds up over time with trust, rapport & communication, the least secret(s) to keep. Yr monkey will feels that she is the most VIP(very important Piglet). If we could only share happiness, I am a mistress to u. Probably, traditionally, I am not yr wifey BUT under Singapore Law, I am legally ur wife!
LOL......am I too naggy?
My point is hello...I am your MW aka Monkey Wifey, would like to be ur 1st class wifey who not only can share your happiness but yr troubles. I do not want to get depressed over guessing game.
Please make an appointment with my secretary;Babymonmon to date me to clarify any doubts. I hope u could understand that U mean so much to me otherwise I will just slowly disappear from yr view without letting u know how I feel.
Bel is the best example of my scenario, now not only Bel is suffering, the husband & the kids are affected. If there is communications.When things are bottle up & filled to the max, the bottle exploded. How to fix it back? Even after fixing it, there is some scars on the bottle. We do not have a time machine like Doreamon, if not I wish to turn time back.
Thank you for your support all these year. I hope u enjoy my blog contents. If u have any suggestions or feedback on the content or blog topics, do feel free to email my secretary Ms Babymonmon, she will be more than happy to assist you. Being my only Fans, u have the privilege to get my most updated blog.
Through this blog, I can express my thoughts, feelings, events or things that I cannot share with my few friends available & let u understand me more.
Sometimes, somethings I do not know how to tell or express myself so through this channel, I wish to let u know my concerns.
I am a typical demanding wife but I am not controlling your life. I am not prepared to change LC for now so I wish u can be healthy & happy. Hang on,don't go away...please take 5mins to read on...
One day, I came home to change unitentionally, I saw a cigarette floating in our toilet bowl & of course I wasn't quite happy but at the same time sad. I guess u are so stressed & u wanted to destress by smoking! Do u remember when u started smoking? Do u remember how u feel when u 1st started smoking? Is it a habit? Is it an excuse? Is it an addiction? Is this temporary or r u social smoker? I hope u could share or talk to me. People might say, tell u also u don't know one la! Y waste my breath? Why make my spouse worry about my problems.
Question: What is the difference between a friend, a wife or a enemy? How would u feel if one day before I die, I say this to U...I wish I could know more & share not only ur happiness but ur concerns too. Yup, like the TV drama...I would say.. I am leaving this world without understand my closest love one thoughts, feeling, needs, wants, problem etc... Sharing only your happy events or thoughts & not able to share yr concerns.....in my personal opinion...To u, I am just ur best friend, not wife. A relationship builds up over time with trust, rapport & communication, the least secret(s) to keep. Yr monkey will feels that she is the most VIP(very important Piglet). If we could only share happiness, I am a mistress to u. Probably, traditionally, I am not yr wifey BUT under Singapore Law, I am legally ur wife!
LOL......am I too naggy?
My point is hello...I am your MW aka Monkey Wifey, would like to be ur 1st class wifey who not only can share your happiness but yr troubles. I do not want to get depressed over guessing game.
Please make an appointment with my secretary;Babymonmon to date me to clarify any doubts. I hope u could understand that U mean so much to me otherwise I will just slowly disappear from yr view without letting u know how I feel.
Bel is the best example of my scenario, now not only Bel is suffering, the husband & the kids are affected. If there is communications.When things are bottle up & filled to the max, the bottle exploded. How to fix it back? Even after fixing it, there is some scars on the bottle. We do not have a time machine like Doreamon, if not I wish to turn time back.
Shame on me
Ytd, I just had my 1st attempt 1st test at 3pm, I think 2nd attempt is asking to prepare myself. Actually, I didn't study hard so if I fail the test...I am expecting to fail. Well, the test is not as hard as I thought but my Answers are CMI. Think the marker will be foaming while marking my test paper & Dr Fong will be having syncope. My brain totally blank when I see the Questions, can't remember the answers at all. Write whatever I could. Shame on me for being a CCNC ICU nurse. How did I get my certs all these years? It's too late to say anything. Now got to move forward & start study for the 2nd test on next friday. Yup, this time I am sure I can pass. Got to be more serious & focus.
Birthday celebration on 27.9.2014
This year I had a SURPRISED birthday celebration on 27.9.2014 in ECP chalet.
LC sms me on fri, pack your bag & we going chalet on Saturday 2D1N at ECP. We went to ECP after lunch at BKP home...homecooked Bak Kut Teh! Then we went to Giant MP, bought some drinks. Wanted to walk around & buy ice-cream but daddy say GTG with his usual Mr Bao's facial expression!
We checked in ECP chalet & the wanted to see the China version the voice BUT the TV was CMI! So sad, despite LC attempt to repair but it didn't give "face". Then there was a guy delivering BBQ food items to us...So many food...Satay, Otah, Chicken mid-wings, corn, stingray, Hotdog, crabsticks, cooked food like sotong balls, fried Bee Hoon, curry chicken & mashmallow. I was so shocked...so many food for the 2of us then LC say, "no, I asked my friends to come over to BBQ with Us!" I believed him & then I say I also want to ask my friend to come. Yes, Pigsy, Bel, Anne, Pris & a few others since my friends not so many. But Pigsy already hint me that she is Busy at home. I only sms Bel to come, thinking she might be bored at home but she also say No to me since super last min. Sad for a moment but anyway it's ok since I know LC's friends. But due to my poor social skills, I was sad that my friends can't come. Wa, one conelto ice-cream $4!!!!!, luckily I chose Magnam at $4 too! more worth the price.
Bee & Helen came early... I didnt suspect anything, I help in fire starting...successfully after some struggling with the charcoal, fire starter. We started to BBQ some food...but LC's friends haven come. Then Bee say to me... your HP rings...when I walked in the chalet without suspecting anything fishy, when I walked in, I saw Pigsy & family infront of me, I was happy! Jumping like a little kangaroo. Then my second surprise... Bel & Anne with Rive cake.....yes...jumping like a happy kange
aroo again to receive them. We started to BBQ & subsequently, Shannnon & family came & "Zhen Zhen Ga Ga Leck & Lynn came...But LC friends didn't come. I was abit sad though cos I get to enjoy but didn't. Hahaaa...godson JH came to me to ask for a masmallow, telling me it's to prepare for my BD cake. Yes, my wish came true I have a BBQ birthday party with LC & friends & of course a BD cake! But as expected by my clever LC, I didn't like the cake so much. It was so sweet mah!
Well done LC, I was so SURPRISED & I am like a HAPPY kangaroo. I enjoyed myself .
Thank you so so so much for this 34th BD surprise!
Of course, I loved all the presents so much too!
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